And the pitiable English

Title

Language

English

Source

Volume XIX (Issue No. 2) February 1967

Year

1967

Subject

Proverbs

Rights

In Copyright - Educational Use Permitted

Abstract

An Englishman expresses a critical comment on English conduct and destiny

Fulltext

■ An Englishman expresses a critical comment on English conduct and destiny. AND THE PITIABLE ENGLISH' I have nothing against the English people. I have taught the English language to their children for seven years. I only have infinite pity for them, l’ike one has for a dead railway station, or a tame lion in a tame English park, or a bull, in an empty china shop. More than 2,000 years ago when the Britons — that’s us — were a civiliized people in these parts, the English were swineherds on the Danube. Armed with their pig-sticking equipment they gradually moved from the Danube and eventually came to these islands where the Scots, the Irish, and ourselves moved over to make room for them. It was not that we disliked them but, well you know, you don’t want your children mixing with all sorts, do you? The real trouble started when the saints came and told the English about God, and how God loved the Eng lish; but the Englishman did not understand that God loved the Welsh, the Irish, and all the others too. He thought God loved only the English, so he took his pig sticker and God’s book and set out to conquer the world for the English God; and soon the Red Indians, the Africans, the Egyptians, the South Sea Islanders, the Chi nese, the Maoris, the Welsh, the Irish, the Scots, the monks, and millions more were all working for him. Mind you, he said it was for God and Queen Victoria; so week by week, year by year, as to all the faithful, he an nounced the collection and got it. Five percent he gave to God, twenty-flive per cent to Queen Victoria, the rest he kept for himself. It is all recorded in the New Bible which he invented called The Financial Tinies. He also invented a proverb for all his colonial states: “honesty is the best policy.” It was only lately that I dis(Turn to page 56) February 1967 51 74. Strange to. This custom is strange to me. 75. Subject to. All things earthly are subject to decay. A girl subject to fits of epilepsy. 76. Subsequent to. A time long subsequent to the king’s death. I got his reply subsequent to the date of my second letter. 77. Superior to. He is superior to all meanness. 78. Thankful to a person, for a benefit. Be thankful to God for all His gifts. I feel very thankful to my old friend for giving me this appointment. 79. True to. Be true to the trust reposed in you. A servant true to his master’s interests. 80. Unknown to. A man unknown to fame. His handwriting is unknown to me. 81. Useful to a person, for a purpose. AND THE PITIABLE . . . (Continued from poge 51 ) covered that this is only half the proverb. Only to his own children in their little prep schools and at Eton, Harrow, and-Winchester did he teach the whole proverb, which goes thus: “Honesty is the best policy unless you can get away with it”; and get away with it he did, until the Americans refused to put any money in the collection — only tea. leaves. Today they have nearly all gone — one by one, the provincial churches of the imperial Eng lish crown. Gibraltar, the Falklands, Scotland, North ern Ireland, and ourselves are about all that are left to look after the old Bull and its beloved Stock Exchange. — I. B. Griffith in Good Morning Wales. 56 Panorama

pages

51+

Media