Literary parasites

Title

Literary parasites

Creator

Aiken, Clarico Lorenz

Language

English

Source

Panorama Volume XVIII (No. 4) April 1966

Year

1966

Rights

In Copyright - Educational Use Permitted

Abstract

Condensed from the Bookman (June, ’30)

Fulltext

■ Besides literary thieves or plagiarists o£ whom there are many, even among the so-called great in the Philippines, there are also parasites as por trayed here. LITERARY PARASITES Few people realize the in superable problems that meddlers, sycophants and pa rasites create for the average author. The rich and fa mous have always been set upon by parasites. “Poor but proud’’ people beg money outright from Edison, Ford and Rockefeller, while soidisant prodigies send manus cripts to successful authors for free criticism. There is not much to choose between these two evils: the first picks the philanthropist’s pockets, the second the au thor’s brains. Intrusions by letter are the commonest impositions; ver bal requests for various fa vors follow a close second, and there are a hundred other insidious forms. Once in a blue moon the author will receive an anonymous letter expressing delight at his latest book and asking for nothing in return. But such letters are rare as un expected checks. Most let ters are not even worth the time required to open and discard them. Here is one. After a number of shallow compliments, the lady writer comes to her real motive: Therefore, I would love to receive a personal reply from you, if you please. Of course, I realize that I am merely a stranger to you, but your answer would be doing me a very great honor indeed I Unless you consider them too personal, please answer the following ques tions: Which do you consi der the greater influence — heredity or environment? Why? How can one face the death of a beloved one if reason forbids one to believe in immortality? What are the titles of your favorite books, and who are your favorite authors? Which of your own poems do you favor, and why? What are your hob bies? What is your philo sophy of life? What do you consider the world needs April 1966 27 most in order to make it a better place in which to live? What would you say, is the greatest thing in life? There are three chief rea sons for these impositions on authors. The first is the patronizing attitude. The public is all too inclined to feel that the author is its toy, that he exists by its whim and tolerance. The second reason is the hero-worship ping attitude. The famous man always has been in the public eye and consciousness, and by some curious twist, the world elects him godfa ther. He should feel pleased at being made much of! The third reason centers around the author's unsys tematic life. Consider the average writer —. he has no office, np office hours, no secretary. Why should his. time not be at the disposal of you and me and our grand mothers? If he is without means — and poets are no longer supported by patrons of art — he cannot afford a buffer. All too easily ta ken in by the clamor of these "lost and distracted souls,” he surrenders his time and services. Consider the plight of the hapless author who sits down to breakfast and finds a mountain of letters. Why should he not grow percep tibly inhuman as he reads? He is swamped with requests for inscribed books from li brarians in North Carolina, Oklahoma, and Maine. (Each state has libraries for colored people, sailors, con sumptives. Old L a d i e s’ Homes, convicts, for the new ly converted, etc.) Requests come in to, write a preface for a hopeless book of verse; requests for his autograph, his photograph; his favorite poem, story or novel; re quests to criticize a rejected manuscript; urgent notes to lend his name to charities, movements, causes', which publicity-stunt devotees as sure him will bring great prestige. He is asked won’t hie please copy out his fa vorite work in longhand for Susie Bean’s scrapbook; won’t he please write letters of in troduction to other celebri ties in the interests of a prospective editorial job; he is asked to judge short story contests and award prizes — a privilege generally ending in polite massacre. 28 Panorama If he is an anthologists, so much the worse for him. His throat is cut by indignant champions of an omitted author. Why is Lydia Conch shell from Keokak, Iowa, omitted? Friends press him to do an obituary of a fel low poet, an assignment which, by comparison leaves death itself without a sting. “Shy” literary acquaintances request him to review their first effort, which means fa vorably, of course; after which the review will be used as a publisher’s blurb. England can testify to what havoc autograph collectors have reduced banks. Cre ditors who received checks signed by Shaw, Galsworthy, Hardy and other notables, would neglect cashing them, hoping for a bullish auto graph market. When a bea rish market came along, hun dreds of these checks would suddenly be dumped on the bank cashiers. To outwit these pests, such checks are now signed by the authors* secretaries. Elsie Singmaster's mail staggers her afresh each morning. “Dear Madam,” she read one morning, “Mr. daughter has written a very good story which was pub lished in her High School Magazine. She does not in tend to pursue a literary life, having good matrimonial prospects. Do you want to make an offer for the plot of her story for your own use? Answer, stating price you will pay, and I will for ward story if price is high enough.” Although Gamaliel Brad ford insists he has not yet lost the zest that comes from having a charming woman (as to the charm he is willing to give her the benefit of the doubt) ask for his autograph or photograph, he is annoy ed when the petitioner neg lects to enclose postage. Booth Tarkington says that if he answered all the mail he receives, he would not have time to do anything “My troubles as an au thor,” testifies Thornton Burgess, “are. nothing as compared with the flood of letters that come to me as a naturalist, because of my radio broadcasts. Apparent ly I am supposed to be a liv ing encyclopedia. One cor respondent says, *1 have a white albino, I would like your opinion of them.’ An April 1966 29 other lady asks me to send her a cure for rheuma tism. . . .” Arthur Stringer makes moan over an abomination that will find a large an swering chorus: “A new and growing evil,” he says, “which seems to be encouraged by English teachers in public schools, is the pest of school children writing for auto graphs and life sketches, be cause they are ‘studying’ a certain author.” Bertrand Russell writes: “In common with other au thors, I suffer a good deal from persons who think that an author ought to do their work for them. Apart from autograph hunters, I get large numbers of letters from persons who wish me to copy out for them the appropriate entry in Who’s Who, or ask me my opinion on points which I have fully discussed in print. I get many letters from Hindus, beseeching me to adopt some form of mys ticism; from young Ameri cans, asking me where I think the line should be drawn in petting; and from Poles, urging me to admit that while all other nationalism may be bad, that of Poland is wholly noble. I get let ters from engineers who can not understand Einstein, and from persons who think I cannot understand Genesis, and from husbands whose wives have deserted them — not (they say) that would matter, but the wives have taken the furniture with them, and what in these cir cumstances should an en lightened male do? I get letters trying to get me to advocate abortion, and I get letters from young mothers asking my opinions of bottle feeding. Little wonder that an au thor comes to look upon these parasites as something worse than charity-seekers. They interfere with his work and embitter him into the bargain. — By Clarico Lorenz Aiken, Condensed from the Bookman (June, ’30) 30 Panorama

pages

27+

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