If a gorilla fought Joe Louis

Title

Creator

Gene Tunney

Language

English

Source

Panorama

Year

1939

Rights

In Copyright - Educational Use Permitted

Fulltext

11Who will win? IF A GORILLA FOUGHT JOE LOUIS IT was Arthur Brisbane. the writer, who on the eve of an important championship heavyweight fight once wrote a bit contemptuously, "A gorilla could lick them both." The line was widely quoted and Brisbane often used it. Eventually fighting became my trade. I was interested in every phase of boxing and of human anatomy. I learned early that a boxer to be successful must know a great deal more than how to land a punch. He must know where to land it so that. it will have the most effect. He must know his own body and he inust strengthen parts of his body which were never meant to absorb punches -the solar plexus region for instance. Out of sheer curiosity I often talked over Brisbane's statement with medical men who knew anatomy and with explorers and wild animal men who knew gorillas. I happened to be seated next to Brisbane at a political gathering in Chicago. Frank Buch. the explorer, walked up to us and I said to Frank, "You know something about gorillas. Do you think that a welltrained. well-conditioned prize58 fighter could knock out a goril1 ?" a. Buck said, "I certainly do. I don't think he'd have any trouble." "How about it, Mr. Brisbane?" I asked, but Mr. Brisbane only shook his head. He said, rather emphatically, afttr Frank Buck departed, "Tunney, don't let that fellow fool you. a gorilla could lick three men." Mr. Brisbane went to his death convinced that a gorilla could lick any man alive. I asked the late Martin John son, the explorer, about it. "A gorilla is a sluggish thinker," Johnson said. "He only knows one attack. He goes after something and grabs with his hands and then hugs it to his breast, crushing the life out of it when possible." It is my firm conviction that any fairly good heavyweight boxer could put a gorilla to sleep or to rout within two minutes. The gorilla is a big boy. but a Dempsey left hook landing on his stomach might figuratively tear the poor animal in two and leave him paralysed on the canvas or jungle. He didn't spend years of doing bending and mat PANORAMA exercises. A man has twentyfour ribs. Your encyclopedia will tell you that a gorilla has but thirteen. Between the ribs, below the breastbone, there are nerve centres. If t h e y are shocked the shock travels to the spine, temporarily causing paralysis. The ribs and welldeveloped muscles between the ribs protect these nerve centres. Twenty-four ribs are much more protection than thirteen. There is the question of the gorilla's enormous teeth which look so frightening. He could do a lot of damage with his teeth and he doesn't know it. To begin with he lives on a vegetable diet. He isn't a meat eater, would hardly relish a bite of tough human muscle. Anyone who lives only on what the dieticians call soft food must have weak teeth. They haven't been hardened by tearing meat. A good righthand punch would probably send eight of the gorilla's teeth flying out to the seventh row. A gorilla has a skull which closely resembles the skull of a man. However, encased in that skull is a small brain, smaller than that of a dog. A gorilla has no reasoning process worthy of the name. Suppose he were fighting Joe Louis. What would he make of that amazing fast left jab? It would bewilder him considerably. A gorilla doesn't know pain, they say. Suppose Louis or Schmeling or any of the first ten ranking heavyweights were to land a punch let's say on the gorilla's Adam's apple. Then he would know pain. Were you ever hit on the Adam's apple? It isn't fun. Jack Dempsey hit me there when we boxed in Philadelphia and I felt as though I were swallowing whole pineapples for a week after. Martin Johnson told me a well-placed punch on the jaw would down the average large gorilla. As soon as the gorilla felt pain his reaction would be to rush in furiously. A good fighter would side step, swing a right to the jaw and the birdies sing. Any animal who has a brain, a nervous system and a spinal cord, can be knocked out.-Gene Tunney, (former World's Heavy-weight Champion of Boxing) condensed from Connecticut Nutmeg. SURGEON (to attendant): Go and get the name of the accident victim so that we can inform his mother. ATTENDANT (three minutes later): He says his mother knows his name.-Boys' Life. MARCH, 1939 59

pages

58-59

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