Laughter is legal

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Part of The Lawyers Journal

Title: Laughter is legal
extracted text: "LAUGHTER IS LEGAL" CROSS.COUNTRY CLASSIC Have you heard a story about the man in the market for a nrw car who saw an ad in a Long Island paper offering a H152 Cadillac for sale for .$50? Th(' first day he passed it up as a joke, but when it appeares for the third time he went to look at the car. The address given turned out to be a beautiful estate. The owner, Rn attractive middle-aged woman, showed him the car and let him drive it. It was in perfect condition, and he promptly r.Jinched th"! deal. After the bill of sale was in his hand, he couldn't suppress his curiosity any longer. "Would you mind," he asked the woman," tellin~ me why you are sellintZ' a beautiful car for $50 when you could have gotten a.t least $4,000?" .. Not at all." she replied." In my husband's will he left ini•tructions to deliver the procee<ls from the sale of his cadillac~tp his s<!Cretary, who liad been so kind to him." SLIM CHANCE In Manchester, Enefand, aft"r Mrs. Maude MitchPll l'lrodnce photn1?ranhs to show her husb:rnd's allPt?ed crueltv harf ca11se her tn lnse 2 no11nds in two years. the judl?e rPmnrked that the lngg ot weight had enhanced her e.ppearance, denied her separation plea. GOOD OLD MOUNTAIN JUSTICE Jn Kentucky hill Muntry, a man w<>9 on trial fo ... bei""' clrunk, r.nd the jndf""e t'ouldn't find an unnrefudir,.rf iury. ThP f~ll"W h<td tOI' many frienrl!'I and too manv l!nem;l"S, nnrt the,.P W"!'I only one ll"BTI in town who s:iid hP was nP11tral. So the iu~ ... e decirled Qn 11 one-,.,An jury. The trial ended. nnd the iury went oft to con~Mer ;b verrl1d. After an h(lur went bv- without n wnrrt. fhe iudC?e tnlrf th0 rl"rlt° to l?O and see what was h<>npenin<?. Th ... tw<>lvl! fo..-v m"n all ,.n1led into OnP sent a messai?e: "We ain't de<"id0 d . .Tudf!e." The .i•1de-e keflt SP"<HTIC? TIPW mess<>n!!'f'r!'I Pvcry hour .!Ind a.lwl\VS P"nt thP same answf>t'. F!nallv ahni1t midnight he was pretty mad and went to the jury room himself, The fellnw was sittinl? there. lookinl? worried. ''Judge, I was just coming to tell you, the jury can't argree." WITNESS NEEDED ''Wnnlrt you like an 11diournr'l"ent to nb~<>in an attor1pv?" the Judge asked a bewildered foreign-born defendant who sto~d before him. "N'o thanks, Judge.'' "Have you money for a lawyer'!" "I ain't i;rot no money." "'Vo111tl you like the r.ourt to an"nint a lawye1· who will pro~t. your interPst and reflrpscnt you - without any cost to you?" "Thanks, your honor. J 11r'l1?e. This is a wr>nd"rfnl roun+ry. You aTP so P'OOd tn men - you offn me a lawyer, hut . • TudJ?'e. to trll yn11 the truth. I don't nCPd a l:>wyer so much - what I r.eed rii.;ht now Is a helluva good witness!" 108 "Wht1t is your age?" asked the judge. "Remember you're under nath." "Twenty-one years and some months.'' the woman answered. "How many months?" the judge persisted. "One hundred and eight." THE BIG QUESTION \Vhen Henry Norris R11ssetl, the Princeton a!'ltronomer. concluded a 1ecturP on Milky \Vay, a wQman asked him: "Tf our world is sr. little and the unive!'se is so great, can we really belive that God pays any attention to us?" "That, madame,'' replied Dr. Russell, "depends entirely on how big a God you b<:!lieve in." ... - ;;. SALARY ~ Two ~·cars a:;?o my son, who was t.hen 13, proudly anr.ounced one day: "I was the only one .in our class that got a 100 in 11ocial living test." "That's fine,u I said. "Were the questions ha.rd?" "Well, the only one I didn't know the answer to was 'what is the salary of the chief Justice of the United States?' but T figurf'd it out. I knew that Ted Williams got $100,000 a yt'at' from the RP.d Sox, and I decided that a Chief Justice woulri probably get about a fourth as much. So I put down $2!>,000, and it was right." W.4.SHINGTON WONDERLAND A busy man forgot to ii1e his income tax return until a few days after the dee.dline. "I have no excuse," he con!essed to the Government in an act'ompanying note. "I just forgot. I am enclosing the required five percent fine ." Shortly, he received a ponderous aml official letter. Would he be good enoui;i:h to fill ont enclosed form. i;etting forth the reasons for his delinquency, and have it notarized? "No excuse,'' he wrote back. "Have paid fine.'' Last week he got anoth<>r letter : No excuse. it said in es .. sence. is not an excuse. "Please file notarized affidavit testify~ ng that you had no Excuse." WISE Gia The Commandinfl' General of a line divis:on in Korea was insJlPctin!? one su,,ny afternoon when three sniller bullets from nr.a.rby hill whizzed over his head. Jumnin~ intn a b11nkcr that was occupied by a sergeant, he barked, "Locate that sniper!" "We know exactly where he is,'' the sergeant r<?p!ied calmly . "Why in the devil don't you shoot h ini then?'' demanded the gc:neral. "Sir. that fe11nw has been ."n:ni"2' at th:s hill '"" woeks now :intl hasYJ't hit anyhn-iv yet. w~•re afrn;rl if we kill him, they night replace him with someone that can shoot." EMERGENCY "How rlo vou know you were P"oini? n,,ly 15 miles an hourT" th!! judge asked the driver accused of sneeding. "I was on my way to the dentist!" TEXAS TALK Whf'ln a wnmn'1 havi"i:? 1Hnner in R n<11Tas re."bmrant Piive thP w11iter ~ '-!lOO hill to pav fo,. 11n cliPrk. the rnan<tger suggel'lted, "See if she doesn't have something smaller.'' ••v,.s. sir''. said the wl\iter." but I d"n't tli;nk she do, boc;s. She had to rummage around in her money to find this." THEY ASKED F'OR IT The ·OwnPr of a $10.000 limous:no. nnllinl? un at a liglit b0~tdl" a small car driven by a frien.d, couldn't resist the chance to het'kle. "Gosh sakf's m•m," he said, "whet is that dreadfull rattling sound in your car?" "Oh. that? said the small car's driver calmly. That's just $9,000 jingling around in my pocket!" QUOTABLE QUOTES Herbert Hor.ver: All Presidents go fishin~ because they want to be alone to thii1k once in a while. Except for prayer, fishinir i.:; about the only time people respect the privacy of the President. APOLOGIA ' We wi!'lh to aprolonize to our natron, fhe WORLD-WTDE IN'SUP.ANCE & SURgTY COMPANY INC .. for havinl? failed to publish the name of the said insurance comflany in the advntisemrnt of the Janu:iry Jss11e of the Lawvers Journal on e.ccount of an oversight on the part 'lf the Printe~s. 160 THE LA WYERS JOURNAL March Sl, 1954
Date: 1954
Rights