Home institute
Media
Part of Woman's Home Journal
- Title
- Home institute
- Language
- English
- Year
- 1936
- Rights
-
- Fulltext
- 28 WOMAN’S HOME JOURNAL Manila, June, 1936 CHILD WANTS MOTHER TO ACT HER AGE Elders Are Looked to for Wisdom CHILDREN need mothers and fa thers who act their age instead of trying to step back into a young er generation. They need council ors and guardians. Children don’t turn to ten-vear-old Johnny Jones for sympathy in time of trouble. They go home to their parents. If those parents have tried to be so youthful and scatter-brained that they have convinced their own chil dren they haven’t the slightest idea what to do with a serious situation, the small boys and girls will be lost. The attitude of “I don’t know what to do any more than you do. but together we’ll find a way,” is not constructive within a filial re lationship. After all, a woman of 40 is not 15, by any method of subtraction. She has had forty years to garner knowledge. She has advanced to a certain position of maturity through her growth. She belongs at the place on the road to which she has journeyed. To run back post-haste, to a cross-road where she stood 25 years ago, is so silly that her child ren smile about it. Youthfulness of Spirit Laudable The essence of spiritual youth is ageless; That fine understanding, sympathy, and tolerance should flourish in hearts as they mature. They should bring parents and chil dren closer together than any simu lation of the role of an older sister or brother can do. “I think freedom comes too early to children,” Faith Baldwin, noted novelist, insists. “After all, they have all their lives in which to grow up. Children are not so adult that they need their own latch keys at seven.” We agree wholeheartedly. It is this tendency for children to usurp adult privileges, and parents to dis card their prerogatives which is placing American home life in such a perilous position. A child of 10 has had no back-ground of exper ience against which to make com parisons. He needs to be guided. An adult has had a fair amount of knowledge instilled into him, usually, one way or another. If he has a road map he should use it instead of pleading that it is fun to get lost together! Years Are Child’s Only Yardstick Children like parents who are'fa thers and mothers. They like the feeling of security that a protecto rate * gives them. After all, they knew their parents’ birthdays, and they feel a little foolish when they see adults disregarding the wisdom of the years. Parents certainly should never be jailers. On the other hand, they won’t get any place by standing in the front yard giv ing the college yell all the time. Life is so arranged that every age has its compensations. A life that is well-planned will take the highest beauty from each year of its span. It will reveal to the chil dren that there is loveliness all along the way. When it skips backwards to the aid of jumping rope or a bouncing ball it makes those chil dren wonder what the farther world is like that their parents want to escape it. Nor does it make those children for one minute really accept their parents as members of their own group. Youngsters measure by years. It is the only yardstick they have. No matter how young their fathers and mothers act they can't pass the backward entrance ex aminations. POLLY-SIT-BY-THEFIRE Girls Need Companionship of Young Friends When a boy won’t go out and mix with the gang, his parents begin to worry and fuss. But when a girl turns pussy-cat and becomes a re gular Polly-Sit-by-the-Firc, no one ever bothers about it. It isn’t a good thing for growing girls to turn recluse. They are far better off for having congenial friends with the same interests. A mixture is good, because it is af firmed by those who have gone into the. matter deeply that attitudes of both sexes are improved in future relationships if first approached in ■the group that skates, or sled-rides or picnics together, or even snow balls, purloins hats or splashes mud. The roughage of the group is good for the soul, as well as its courtesy and sportsmanship and loyalties. But barring the boys, because it is not every girl who takes kindly to the mixed crowd, she needs com pany. It isn’t good for her to turn in on herself and settle down to her parents’ routine alone. • Age and Size Create Barriers Once in a while I get letters from mothers who realize this and ask for advice. As there are so many possible reasons for the “detached” child, I think it best to list some of them. Then other mothers may be able to decide where the trouble lies, if they too have one who pre fers her own company. Sometimes it happens that Bessie —let us call her—is younger than her schoolmates. Younger, too, than her close neighbors. If so, she will not be welcomed by the rest. If she has been kept back by removal or illness, her place in school may be a torture to her. She will make no effort at friendliness herself, feeling sensitive as she does about the discrepancy. Sometimes size counts too. If she has grown faster than the rest, she may think they do not want her. Or if she has a more-mature nature, even though of equal age, she may be inclined to spurn the friendship of “those babies” as she calls them. Perhaps the family has ambitions to live in a newer and better neigh borhood. The local children may unbend and welcome her, but this has to be a fifty-fifty business, and Bessie will have to go half way. If she feels a misfit in her new surroundings, she won't make the effort. Then all is lost. Lacks Bond at School The same is true of the school. The one she attends may not lay much stress on democracy. If Bes sie feels that she is unequal to hold ing her own in this rare atmos phere, again she will fail to make social contacts. She will be “in” the school but not “of” it. While it is natural for parents to want to improve their children’s chances for the future, to put the onus on them alone is just a bit cruel some times. Third, perhaps Elizabeth is one of life’s natural “escapers,” and prefers to live vicariously through books, sleep, movies and such. If this is the case, has any attempt been made to get her interested in something that will undermine her inertia; and show her that real experience is far more enjoyable than dreams? Perhaps she has ac quired the liking because her par ents veto everything normal on the grounds that “ladies should stay at home and be good little girls.” So often this results in fricndlessness. 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